d i s a p p e a r

it's a choice, you make.

... a desire sometimes.

so as I walk outside and look at the stars

as I dream of walking hand in hand with someone who loves me

when I'm alone


i feel that it is easier to disappear.

to just erase it all and live when the world and people who really didn't know you could see your every move and feeling...

I'm tired of living a life that isn't mine and I mean that in many ways.

I may be a fool... a child... naive

but my heart is heavy here.

I feel strangled here.

Each foot step is like the echo of my flailing heart.

Every night I twist and turn

my body falling apart.

my skin cracking.


so..

I believe it best to forgive this part of my life and let it go.

we walk many roads. we take many paths so please let me take mine.

people respect all kinds of beliefs....except those I choose.

I'm ridiculed even worse for it because it doesn't seem rational or logical and sensical. I'm hurt that that is the way, but I can see why it is so.

I want to choose this life.

I want to give this life.

in the only way I know how.

to relinquish control.

This is what my heart tells me to do.

Would you refuse me this right?